This week I thought I would post a topic that was a big discussion point among me and some of my friends. I will start by reflecting a moment I shared with my dad. We lived in a rural area of the south-east where racism exist. Growing up in areas prone to racism you simply adapt to the culture and recognize the surroundings. One of the common signs I would see would be Rebel flags hanging from someones front yard. In addition you would see a black silhouette of a black person in the yard. These two things in my community were unspoken signs to inform others what ethnicities they were or were not fond of. In a few cases the Rebel flag alone simply honored their true patriotism for fallen family members in the war. However, those indications based on patriotism were generally overshadowed by those who use the Rebel flag as a symbol for hatred. To get to my first point, we had a neighbor across the street that had all of the visual signs in his yard that he was not a best friend to blacks. Oddly, this neighbor seemed to really like my dad. He even seemed very friendly to me. This neighbor had a pond much bigger than ours with a lot of fish. Everyday he would come over with a bucket of fish and he and my dad would laugh, tell jokes and clean fish in our backyard. My friends would visit me and often jokingly state that I lived next door to the Klan. One day I finally built up the courage to ask my dad a question that would change my perception forever. I saw my dad in the back yard and I walked over and sat down next to him and asked “Don’t you know that Mr. Bridges next door is a racist and doesn’t like black people”? He looked at me and said “Son, when I fought in Vietnam I fought with people I know didn’t like me, but at the end of a day I saw a man who wanted the same thing out of life that I wanted”. He told me that he knew that the guy next door didn’t like blacks. I asked him why was it that this guy liked him. He told me to look around. He said I am old now. I have lived my life. I am retired, I have had successful career, and I have the biggest home in the neighborhood. He told me that simply means I don’t fit the stereotype of what many of the racist think black people are all about. I am non-threatening and I appear to have something going for myself. He then told me that my character, intelligence, and my success would dictate just how much racism I would feel in life.
Fast forward 15 years later, he was exactly right. One of the first things I noticed after Engineering school was that I didn’t seem to fit the stereotype. I have friends of all races. I am seen as someone who is non-threatening, intelligent, and successful. My surrounding alone invites me to different circles that those whose description fit threatening, unintelligent, and unsuccessful wouldn’t be included. Don’t get me wrong I am not immune to racism and neither am I saying that I have never experienced it. I am saying that I feel less of it simply because of where my life has placed me. Let’s get to the question of why that stereotype even exist. This post began when I picked my 2-year old daughter up from day care. As most parents, the first thing you ask is “What did you do today?” Then you sit back and hear all of these things that you need to compliment them on. You know the “Great jobs”, “That’s pretty”, or anything assuring to help boost their sense of accomplishment. In this small daycare me and my daughters mom were previously at odds on her choice to place her in a day care where she was the “only” black in the entire school. I definitely wouldn’t have wanted her in an all black school either, but simply in a diverse environment where she could have interaction with various ethnicities (including her own). While riding home from the daycare my daughter tells me about her new friend Ericka. Since I had never heard this name before, I asked her who was Ericka. Her response was “Ericka is black like me”, and pointed at the skin on her am as she referenced the word “black”. I thought for a minute questioning if a 2-year old should know the skin hue distinction between herself and the other kids. I would learn a few weeks later that the school admitted a second black girl named “Ericka”. Then I wondered where she heard that she was black. She didn’t get it from me, and her mother says she didn’t tell her. It was obvious that she got it from the kids at the school. I find it highly unlikely that the teacher (at least I hope not) would make this distinction. The parents of one of the children in this toddler class has obviously taught the skin difference between black and white. Well, is this a bad thing? Maybe not if the distinction is only a difference in hue. There is only a problem when you associate the hue with social class.
As parents we have the first chance to impact the lives of our children. We can set the tone of a world of equality or a world of inequality. If we take the effort to teach a world of equality we truly allow our children the opportunity to make judgement about various ethnicities solely based on their own account and not by perceptions we embed in their mind. In my opinion I believe that a child (or adult) that is stigmatized in believing that all other races outside of their own is his/her enemy is doomed to face a world of seclusion and isolation to one race. The ability to have associates, friends, and colleagues of all races/ethnicities only opens up more windows for opportunities. Why would you intentionally place yourself in a box of limitation? Parents have a moral responsiblity to utilize racial ideology as an opportunity to broaden our children’s ability to become successful in society.
If you like this topic, I would love to hear more from you. You can also follow my publications on Facebook as well as download my FREE e-Book “Preparing for Success“. Don’t forget to join my mailing list on the left side of the page so that you can get future post, and book promotions I constantly get from other authors.
Follow me on Twitter | Follow me on Facebook | Follow me on G+
Copyright darrenjohnson.org © 2019. All Rights Reserved.
